Wednesday, July 26, 2006

A valid question...

What the hell am I getting myself into ?? hhahahha
I seem to have secured a pretty good place to live in, but it's far from where I need to be, each day I find something more I need to spend on...
Wow, moving across the world can be a pain in the butt ! And still... they might slow us, but they will never stop us !

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Made not born...

Talking with my friend last night got me to thinking. I've already posted about not thinking too much, which in itself is a paradox, because by looking for a solution for that particular problem, I have to think about it. In a word, damn. But, as usual, I digress. I was telling my friend how I need to look for a balance between going practical and going cold. How much do I have to drop the hero and romantic in me, both integral parts that I like a lot about myself. And I remember thinking to myself "I can always go all-tactical, I can do strategy in my sleep, I'm a warrior born." But you know what, that's not true ! That's not true at all.
I'm a warrior, true. I can out-strategize the best of them and my friends who've seen me switch to tactical mode know that I'm good at it. But I wasn't born that way, far from it. If anything, I was born a geek. It wasn't until my teen years that I actually started making that change, first as a hobby, reading strategy books and working out, and then being formally trained in martial arts and combative tactics. But it is the fruit of a decision to change or complement my way of life. Not to get into or out of fights, when I say I'm a warrior I mean much more than that. Modern strategy courses and experts, in business or any other sense, refer to Sun-Tzu's work and an indespensable read. And it is a book about, literally, war.
When faced with a choice, my tactical mind immediately starts tracing paths and solutions, good points and bad. The problem is, most of the time I start weighing in not just my odds, but how my choices affect other people. And that's when I start to let emotions get in the way. That's when I start putting other people (not anybody, mind you, important people) over me in my priority list. Of course, that's when I start overworking the hamster, and I get into trouble. What I've now realized is that if I trained myself to start thinking that way, logic states that I can do the same again. Just train myself to make my choices in a different way, get used to it. Teach my mind which factors need to be weighed in and to what extent. When should I care about myself, and when should I worry about others. And it can be done. Actually, it's the way to go. If your strategy isn't working, adapt and overcome. Learn your weaknesses, learn from them, and fortify them one by one.
It's going to be quite a year, and I say it again: there are changes in the wind... lets see where they might take us.

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Happy Bday Joch !

So the day is probably over in Australia, but it says right here, posted on the 15th !!!
Happy birthday joch !! My friend, another one of my brothers, I hope you have an incredible time, and that you enjoy your present ;) Wish I was there to give it in person, but man, you live too damn far away hehe.

On to the next adventure...

Yesterday I got some very good news. I was granted a student loan that will help me make my next adventure come true. Pending further details: my visa, housing arraingements, flights... hey, I never said they were little details hehe... I will be spending a year in France.
This will probably be my biggest adventure yet. Officially, I'll be coursing a master's degree. Off the record... wow... there are just so many reasons. I've never beed away from home for that long, so that's a good one. The feeling of being independent, 100%, at last. The prospect of learning french as a 3rd language is up there as well. There's always that little voice in my head telling me that my story can't only be told on this little place I call home. There's the fact that my family, la banda, is basically already gone, conquering the world and I can't be left behind. Someone incredibly dear to me once answered another friends' question to why I was leaving by saying I was running away from her. It really hurt, even thought some of it might even be true.
The fact of the matter is, I just "don't find myself" (an expression in spanish, usually I don't do that, but it's just right on the money) in this town anymore. Home is where the heart is, home is where your friends and family are, home is where you can just let your guard down, feel confortable, feel happy. Home is where you make yourself belong. My friends are long gone, my family is material for a few other blogs all by itself, my heart isn't mine to give, but doesn't have a home, and each day that passes I grow more tired with my life here. It's come to the point that the question isn't really why I'm leaving, it's more like why would I stay?
It isn't over yet, and it's a process that's been brewing for some time now. My friends have been there lighting my way, helping me push myself for this, and supporting me through the whole deal. My mom's done a heck of a job aswell, even thought she will be the one who misses me the most. I've drawn strenght, inspiration, resources from sweetie, bondwalker, joch and my bro. And it seems it's all finally bearing fruit. I'm nervous, I'm excited, I'm worried and I'm scared. I really don't know what's going to happen when it's over, what will happen while I'm gone. But I'm sure it's going to be the adventure of a lifetime. I know it's going to make me a bigger and better rob. And all thought I might be losing some things, I will be gaining some more. And at the end of the road, that's what adventures are all about.
Oh... it's on!!!

Saturday, July 08, 2006

On flying men in tights...or why underwear goes on the inside.

Well, basically, because most jeans itch otherwise, how I know ? Don't ask.

A week and a half after it's debut, I finally got to see Superman Returns. The Imax version opened first in Mexico, the regular won't be shown 'til next week. I don't think there's any difference story or scene ways, but for the record, that's the version I'm writing about.
The really really short version is: "I liked it, had a great time." Most of you people who haven't actually met my dear friend Bondwalker have no idea what a dangerous statement that is hehe. Is it perfect ? Not by a longshot. Is it Batman Begind good? Could be... (this is where she starts shouting at me) The thing is, I really wasn't expecting much more than what I got. I've always liked superman. I used to dress up like him for halloween. I liked the movies, and some of the cartoons. But I never really liked the comics. Oh, I like comic books... I just never really liked superman stories. So what did I expect ? I expected to feel like a little kid again, getting goose bumps while a guy in tights with misplaced underwear flew and threw heavy things around. To remember how I felt with the first movie (which to me has a lot of annoying parts too). And that's what I got.
Granted, it's not JLU superman. It's not even Donner's superman. They say this movie takes place after Superman 2. I'd say that's not the case. I think what happened was that this younger superman had the same adventures, but the timeline was moved a bit. Routh looks and plays a much younger Superman/Clark than Reeve ever did. You see the older movies and you easily think the guy is in his thirties. You see this one and you can almost bet he just stepped out of smallville. He played hero for a year, maybe two, and then left. He still isn't comfortable with the whole secret identity thing. The fact that he is almost a god and nobody else can understand what he deals with still gets to him. Sometimes he just feels alone, and I can understand that. And I think that from that perspective, the film makes much more sense. His real problem isn't that he puts his neck on the line everyday. He's freakin' superman with a freakin' super neck, he is never afraid he's going to get hurt. He's afraid how many regular people are going to get hurt if he doesn't get the job done. Batman never thinks he has the weight of the world or even his city on his shoulders. If someone gets mugged and shot on the other side of town while he was busy elsewhere, tough, he can't be in two places at once, he'll just kick the killers' butt later. Superman almost could be everywhere at the same time. He could stop a bullet in chicago and in two seconds stop an old lady from tripping with some branch in nepal. The choice of which branch and which bullet to stop is what finally gets to him. And having his mid-twenties crisis he gets the hell out to where nobody will bother him. I can buy that.
There were things I didn't like of course. As always, the kid seems to be the case. Actually, I had no problem with the fact that the kid was around. The whole lois as a sinlge mom thing was quite believable. Believe me, I know a lot of young moms with 5 year olds, and they're mostly doing stupid things while they get the hang of it. What I didn't like specifically? The piano scene. If they'd skipped that entirely and the only real "clue" that the kid was super was him spotting superman in the water, that would've worked better with the reveal at the end. That and that they dragged the whole "he might be dead" for a bit too long at the end. But shave some 10, 15 minutes off those parts, and I think you've got a damned good summer movie.
Singer did a good job with what he had. He played safe with the homage and risky with the kid. I think Xmen 2 was a much better movie than this one, but you could probably compare it to X1. Those of us who remembered that iceman, beast and angel were founding members of the xmen, that wolverine, rogue and storm showed up years before kitty pride, we had a lot of problems with his take on the first movie. Those guys weren't even close to what the xmen, character wise, that we knew. But, hey, we had fun with it, he made it work. And with that established universe, the second one was amazing.
I say wait to see what happens from here. It might just be great.
Let the shouting begin...

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Boston goodness !

To one of my dearest friends :

Enjoy your adventure sweetie ! Like only a Harvard girl can ;) !

( yeah, I have a friend I call "sweetie", problem with that? bring it on hehe)

Self - sabotage ?!

I've always been very proud of my mind. I've always thought my brain was my best weapon, something I could use to give me an edge in almost any situation. It just never ocurred to me that, just as every other type of weapon, it could be used against me. It was, as a whole, a very scary experience... an alarm of sorts.
The last few weeks I'd been feeling strange. Part of my face just didn't "feel" normal, and I had these weird headaches. It started out just around my eyes and was expanding, slowly but surely. You don't have to have a MD to figure out that just is plain weird. So I went to see people who actually have MD's hehehe to see exactly what was going on. After a few MRI's, EEG's and a big scare, they told me there was nothing wrong with me. I was 100% healthy.

And yet, half my face was numb !

So what was it ? Stress. Turns out I think things too much. I just came out of a lot of things in my personal life and at the job, and I happened to have a bit more time off. Time my precious little mind decided to put to good use sabotaging my nervous system. Damn.... DAMN! It was the first time in my life I felt ill without knowing what was wrong with me, and it wasn't a good feeling at all. And to think it wasn't some sort of injury, infection, something I ate, something I hit my head with, some deadly disease. It was me ! Overthinking my brain until it smoked. I really makes you wonder what the hell was so important, if it was, that was stressing me so much it made me ill. How can a young, healthy, smart (and good looking to boot hehe) guy let something like that happen to him? And of course, it makes you realize it's just wrong.
Doctor's orders: I need to relax, to take things easy, one day at a time. I have to remind myself "just for today" concentrate on what I can actually do, and not worry about things I can't do anything about at the moment. And enjoy myself as I do. So I'm happy to say I started by sharing a couple of bottles of red with two good friends last night. I'm already feeling better... it's a shame I had to go through something like this to get a head's up. But at the end of the day the important thing is that I learned my lesson.
It summer time dammit ! As a wise kid named Calvin once led by example, it's meant to be lived outside, not no sufferd inside.
So ? get to it ! There's a moral to this story you know ?